I've been asking myself a lot since my last relationship. Is it me or what was it? Why am I suddenly just so crazy about Kyuhyun? Idk. Really. Never even cross my mind why. Sure he's talented and super perfect in my own opinion, but just why. Why am I never have any interest on any guy who has feelings for me and stuff. And now I know why.
Why am I diverting all of my love to someone so far away and unreachable.
Because being in love with someone near puts you in a vulnerable state.
Idk, maybe the way I love is wrong. But to me, it makes me feel so vulnerable.
Like I can break any time.
And being with someone just makes you want more, hope for more, need more.
Can't blame anyone, it's humans' nature. Greed will always be with us.
And I hate being vulnerable.
I hate being the one who feels more.
I hate when I can't give you what you want.
I hate when I can tell you what I want.
And I feel guilty way too easily.
And I don't know how to differentiate these feelings.


So yeah, maybe in the mean time I'm just going to still love Kyu.
Putting these feelings aside.