Ugh ugh ugh. This lecture is annoying. That lecture was totally boring. Both I can't pay attention to. Wait, there are more. I feel like an idiot. Maybe I really am now. Totally not interested in all this. I should change my course. I'm so bad at memorising all these stuff. And I totally can't understand a thing. Screw this. Just get a degree and start doing what I really love later on. I should hang on a little bit more right? Two more years. How hard can it be?

Hey, are you okay? What happened? I really want to ask. But am I even allowed to? So yeah, I hope you are fine. And I'm like pretty much the last person you should be thinking about.

Having a crush is so 90s? Well, I am a 90s kids, sorry for being cool.

33: ? wait for you? you are?

yz : going to korea XD not sure yet, got a lot of options! seriously? you know where to find me! haha. you finish your exams ady?

Dae(soon)-nim : I know I shouldn't rush my decision, but I got a deadline. Can't exactly take my own sweet time :/ Yeah, and I feel like I still can change my fate? Problem is I don't know whether I like it or not. Thank you! :) Do you mind me asking who are you? :)

XD : I don't really check my blog, just post stuff and out. Eh? Not fair! Do I know you irl? I think so? Haha. You have a good day :)

yz : Haha. Okay. Do I know you then? Not dreaming at all! Haha. Have a good life to you too! :)

So yeah, I got a break. A one week well deserved break. Wish it was longer :( I won't have any break till like August. Sigh. Sigh. Sigh.
And I have to make some pretty big decision. Should I go or should I stay? I'm not desperate to go nor I'm desperate to stay. Sigh. What should I do? And will I regret the decision I'll make? Tough competition but I lose interest here. Sigh. I need pressure. I think I kinda do well under pressure. Haha.
I hate being an adult. You have to make your own choice. Choices that will affect your life, greatly. It's like this or other thing. What should I do? And I have so many things that I want to do. Like travelling, teaching  anything other than studying. I really think I'm made a wrong choice in my life. I should have been a teacher or a volunteer or a psychologist rather than a food scientist. Food scientist just doesn't appeal to me anymore. Why can't I be one of those people who are chasing their dream, looking forward for a new day or like anticipate the next lesson. Why? Why I have to keep on thinking about the choices I have instead of doing well on what I've chosen? Is this the right path? Is it too late to change it now?
I knew I'm just gonna waste this break. Why bother saying I will study etc where I sincerely think I won't? So yeah, just gonna enjoy this one week break and face hell after this.

I wrote something. But you shouldn't post stuff when you are pissed. So yeah,I'm careless. Still in denial. I want to curl into a ball and cry.

My friends told me that I am just so easy to please. Cause I really am! Haha.
So yeah, today (ytd) had to be like the best day at work ever! XD
There was this cute Korean guy whom I made an eye contact with, he was seriously already walking past the shop. I had to seriously stop myself from blushing and giggling as he walked back. Muahahaha. He walked back and actually buy something! The only thing that is not Korean from him is the lack of cap. And then after a few hours, he came back and buy something else. This time, he even mistaken RM50 as RM1. So cute I tell you! So, Hi Korean guy. Hope to see you again! :) note:please just be a regular customer XD
Then there was this baby girl I guess, looking at me with her huge doe eyes. And the mum was kind of snobby? Didn't even smile at all when I smiled at her -.- And the baby was just staring. When the mum turned her back, she turned her head to see me. I was just goofily smiling at her. Waving to her :) Then her mum decided to just walk away, without buying anything -.- The kid continued to stare at me. When the mum already took like almost 10 steps ish, the mum stopped for I don't know why and the kid waved at me! Like seriously waved for like 3-6 seconds ish. With her tiny little cute hand. So squishy. My love for little kids just suddenly arise! Kids are so adorable I want to adopt one right now!
So yeah, just a post about me talking about my day at work.
Night world!

Okay. iPad is totally not one of those device that have awesome typing thingy, but this will do now that I'm so lazy to go to my laptop.

I just really feel like ranting here. Why are people so talented and here I am just a lump of living cells that waste oxygen, food, leaving carbon footprints? Okay yeah, I hope you get what I meant. I feel so very very absolutely talentless. Sigh. I wish I have bigger dreams. I wish I have something I want to be. I wish I am one of those people who are working hard to achieve their dreams. I wish I have a dream. A dream where it makes you to only do your best. To give it all you've got. To be excited waiting for a new day. To be excited for life. To be grateful that you are given so much time to live it. Just one simple thing that can make you feel alive.

I just feel like I'm lost again. What am I doing here? What do I want? What am I looking for in life? I just really wish I can know that. At least please give me a peek? At least let me have a picture of what is going to happen.

My friend were just talking about how they sometimes feel bad for their sisters. How like one of the sister is kind of keeping the problems to herself. Not speaking out. I don't know, maybe, just maybe. Not everyone have someone. Not everyone want to listen to your problems. Some people are just as alone as they can get. It's not that they like to keep all the problems to themselves. They just don't have that one person who actually really cares about them. Who actually really wants to know what is going on with your life. Or maybe even if there people out there who cares, you just don't want them to worry about you. You just don't know how to tell them without making them feel guilty.

I feel like I am slowly detaching myself from the reality. I want to tell my problems too. I want someone to give me advices on what I should do. Someone to give me pats on the back and say it's okay. Someone who will try to understand me. Without judging me. Without looking down on me.

I need to have some serious talks. With who I don't know. But I just know I can't. I'm going to have a break down even before we start getting to my problems. I am just so easily affected by my emotions. I am easily touched. Easy to please.

I feel lost. Again and again. I want to be found too.

Maybe, just maybe. I kept stuff to myself way too much. Way too long.

I wish to be a kid again. Where I wouldn't have to worry about all this. My biggest problem would just be what colour I should use to paint the houses this time?

It could have been a beautiful love story. But of course, i ruin it.