Omaigat. Bipolar me. I just remember how yesterday was all flowers and butterflies and today I'm down as fcuk. Bipolar bipolar. It's not even the right time to be PMS. Why am I feeling this way.

I'm procrastinating not to finish a report. Sigh.
I'm really tired of life. Idk why. Things have been really good lately in fact. A lot better. But I don't know why I feel like there's nothing to look forward to anymore. I'm just really weird right? :/ I'm tired of life. And I can really be annoying and clingy at times. Like really annoying too in general. But yeah, I'm annoyed of me being annoying. I can't really express my feelings. I can't really say out the stuff I should have said. There is this song that I have been playing on repeat for 15 times now. I really really love this song. I don't even know why. I can't even relate to everything for the lyrics, maybe 50%ish? Haha. So people, listen to Lily Allen - Littlest Thing. Probably one of my most favorite songs ever.
Especially : There's no one in the world that could replace you. 
Call me cheesy and stupid, but it's probably true. I can quotes way too many from that song. The lyric is just that good. Things that remind me of you. Idk why, I really need a good cry. But somehow I can't find a good trigger. I need a really sappy movie now. Haha. And more that ever, I'm starting to see there is no point in studying. Call me dumb, I know. Gosh, I don't know how many times I can put this song in repeat and will never get tired of it. This song is my top most played song XD Dreams oh dreams. And this song is actually a soundtrack for a movie, a pretty good one in my opinion :) Celeste and Jesse Forever! Or maybe, I'm the one with the weird taste? Be the judge. I thought I have dealt with these feelings. Boy, maybe I was wrong. Was that question the trigger for this? That was a very bad question to ask anyway.
And I just found out this thing, students cheat in exams. Like using google, passing notes, making cheat sheets, etc. I mean am I the only one who didn't do this? Honestly, I cheated like less than ten times throughout my studying times I think. Am I really stupid? I mean, if all students are allowed to cheat, what's the point of having a test then? I shouldn't be so stupid acting like a saint not cheating when everybody does. But I don't think I have the guts for it. There goes good marks. I don't even score well for assignments too. Fingers crossed so that I can pass these subjects. I have been doing really poorly.
I have been having a very unpleasant sleep. Like I can't fall asleep. I need to repair my biological clock. Cause it's making me tired, emotionally and physically. I'm asleep but also awake at the same time. I can't have one good night sleep. Like the kind of sleep where you don't wake up until you have to. I have this kind of sleep where if someone knocked on my door, I can hear it right away. Stupid brain is stupid.

That talk explains a lot. Like some of my most curious questions are answered. But I guess, you were disappointed. I didn't reveal anything out. Yet, or maybe never. But it was a good thing somehow, I dislike lying, so it's better not to say anything :) and I was not wrong, you did get it from someone else's. That must be weird. Asking around XD

But yeah, you sneaky you, thank you :)

Just because I want to procrastinate doing my lab report which is due tomorrow. Fml. Reports after reports and so many assignments not to forget mid terms and quizzes.
I think I have become very ugly recently. From the inside mainly. Like really ugly. I make a lot of small 'white' lies. But well, little by little it's gonna end up with a lot right? I have a lot of bad thoughts about others. Not only thinking I'm not good enough, now I think how someone is not good enough for someone else. I mean, who am I to judge? I have a lot of ill thoughts recently, like a lot more compare to what I have before. I think way way way too much too nowadays. Why is this happening? I hate myself for it. I hate myself for having all of these bad thoughts. I shouldn't be having all these thoughts at all. Not only those above, but there are more. I have become more judgmental, more snobby, more evil. Just bad in general. I hate having these thoughts. What made me have all of these? :( I want to stop having all of these bad thoughts about people. I don't want to be a snobby bitch. I have to distract my thoughts.
And I have been thinking less about you. Like really almost non existent in my thoughts. Seriously. Haha. This is a good change though :) and about me thinking too much, I used to analyze thing way too much. Now I get it. It's just like that. It's just a normal thing. I shouldn't be excited or reminded or thought that it's all about me. This is like one of the positive things that happen to my mind lately. There are a lot of bad things too though. :/
But lately, everything has been good. Like good fine good. Make sense? :D
You make me have those weird feeling on the pit of my stomach and put a smile on my face.

And to all the girls out there, you are beautiful. You just have to wait for the one that sees your true beauty. I don't think I have met my guy yet, but I'm pretty sure he's out there. Stop getting lost and find me!

On a side not, there is this guy whose grammar is so bad but I don't have the heart to tell him. I don't want to sound snobby and a know-it-all but that is basic English >< I want you to improve seriously, I am not pointing out your mistakes because I think I am better than you or anything. But I guess not everyone can take criticisms positively right? I for one, really love when people are correcting my grammar mistakes. I still have a lot of rooms to improve and now that I don't have any English subject, there is no once to correct my mistakes. Sad :( This is just confirming how weird I am right?